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[08 Aug 2009|11:19am] |
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finally when i'm really enjoying summer and partying every night, it's coming to an end. i went to lil wayne last night and it was a huge disappointment. allie didn't believe me when i said it would take over an hour to get to nissan in traffic, so she refused to leave until 6. then we stopped at mcdonalds and TWICE for brenna to pee outside. we got there at 740 and missed the first two acts (jeremiah and souljaboy.) on top of that, drake didn't play because he broke his leg and jeezy didn't perform either! so we only saw lil wayne who was good, but not worth $40. he didn't even play my favorite song, best rapper alive! oh well, whatever, i've realized that typically, rap shows are not that great.
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[31 Jul 2009|07:42am] |
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waking up this early for work sucks.
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[03 Jul 2009|08:12am] |
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i really need to update. once my 60 hour work week ends i will do that.
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[25 May 2009|07:21pm] |
i'm too lazy to update this regularly. summer is boring so far, especially because of school. then again, if i didn't have school, it's not like it'd be much more exciting. my friends are texting me every night telling me how there's nothing going on and they're hating life. i already have my first math test tomorrow, and had two quizzes last week. summer session is intense!
i just bought a bicycle today and rode around burke lake park (5 miles) with tina and jen. it was a ton of fun! we're going again wednesday and probably running stair laps at the fairfax stadium tomorrow. i'm becoming obsessed with working out again. i want to be skinny like the old days.
i already really miss mason, and miss my townhouse like crazy! i wouldn't say i'm excited about school to start, not at all, i just want my gmu friends to be back. i really don't care about FHS people anymore... i hang out with brenna, kemi, aaron, and mike a lot, but that's about it.
i'm really trying to figure out what to do with myself post graduation. a lot of people have been convincing me lately to go the medical route and do psychiatric nursing. i guess social work really does make absolutely no money. if i did the accelerated nursing program i would graduate a year and a half late, if i get all the pre-req's done as a concentration (anatomy, microbiology, a GCH class, an ethics class.)
richelle and i went to the lake this weekend and it was a blast. i can't wait until the next time i can go. i probably hang out with her more than anybody. i barely even see nathaniel now because he works like crazy, and i have school during the day. i can't spend the night often since i'm living at home again...
cassie is coming home for two weeks in july and moving to south carolina with her hubby the first week of october! yay! the week of my 21st!
enough updates for now.
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[17 Apr 2009|08:21pm] |
my dad has gone on some dates with a few women since the divorce. this past week he has gone out almost every night with this new woman. i met her tonight. she's 50, a nurse case manager at walter reed, and really pretty (for an older woman.) i don't like her. and it has NOTHING to do with not wanting my dad to be with someone. i got so excited when he told me he's been seeing a lady every night. i really want him to be happy. this woman is sketchy as shit. my brother and i are both getting really worried for my dads sake.
she is so nice, but just so incredibly fishy.
1. she doesn't stop talking. and i mean to the point of, she followed me out to the car. i started my car and she leaned into my window and kept talking. she tells really far fetched stories that seem like a huge exaggeration. she started crying during one of the stories...
2. her phone rang 4 times in the hour and a half i talked to her and each time she gave a weird look and hit ignore. ex husband, maybe?
3. i asked her about her kids and she didn't even tell me their names. she said their ages. then i asked what grades they are and she ignored me. she started off on a 10 minute rant about how she hates that she has sons and wanted daughters. they're 10 and 15, btw.
4. she mentioned her ex husband bothering her and my dad asked, "is it still happening?" and she made some weird noises and then changed the subject
5. she let buster out and he ran away and almost got run over by a car. it was 45 minutes ago and my heart is still beating out of my chest. matt and i chased him throughout our 2 acre back yard, back around to the front yard, and into the neighbors yard. matt was barefoot and i was wearing sandals. buster ran in front of a speeding car and they slammed on their brakes and matt dived forward to catch him. traumatizing. oh and then she started whining about how it wasn't her fault because she doesn't remember leaving the door open. what the fuck, you aren't 5 years old, just apologize and be done with it.
6. i understand people like super close personal contact, but she stood right up on me and grabbed my arm and squeezed it for like 5 seconds every chance she got
7. my dad cooked her a huge dinner and she ate ONE PIECE OF SHRIMP and said that she's on a diet
8. she asked my dad to help her wash her car, in a way hinting that she doesn't know how... yeah, i'm not fucking kidding. when i left, she was standing in the driveway staring at her brand new accord, waiting for my brother to come turn the hose on for her and fill up the bucket. the last i heard, my dad was offering to do it for her
matt and i very rarely have the same opinions about people, and both of us are really nervous for my dad. we really want him to be happy but this woman is giving us a really bad feeling.
i'm trying to be optimistic. this lady is uber girly - pink shirt, red fake nails, jewelry, makeup, designer bags. my dad LOVES that, and he hated it when my mom stopped caring about appearance. therefore, the not-eating and asking my dad to do shit for her, wouldn't faze him. in fact, he'd like it. and maybe she does in fact love her sons, but she just wishes she had daughters to go shopping with. hopefully that's the case, but i don't know, this isn't lookin' good.
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[14 Apr 2009|03:11pm] |
It's so corny but I'm so incredibly happy with Nathaniel. He has been such an amazing boyfriend ever since we got together the second time. It was four months officially back together on Monday, but we were dating two months before that. It's really like an entirely different relationship. We had a great weekend together. His birthday was Thursday, and we went to Uptown and then drank more at his place afterwards. Sarah and his brother, Jerome, were with us. Unfortunately, Nathaniel and Jerome's grandfather passed away on Nathaniels birthday. I feel so incredibly bad for him. Friday we went to JMU for three 6 mafia and girl talk. It was soo disappointing! After the show, we drank at Jonathans. Got breakfast the next morning, drove home, got dinner at Longhorn, and then had the party. It was a great time. I got drunk and kind of upset later in the night because for most of the night Nathaniel was in his room with his brother... Missing his own party... Did homework on Easter Sunday and got lunch with mom. That night I felt so fat and gross- ate so much nasty shit over the weekend.
There are so many good things... I just can't help but worry about how upset he is over his grandfathers death. Its exhausting acting as both a girlfriend and therapist and if he becomes as depressed as he was last spring or this past fall, idk if I can deal right now.. As much as I want to be there for him, I'm so overwhelmed with school I really can't be getting depressing texts at 4am and constantly be worrying about his well being... I'm tempted to just back off and take a step back. I feel like he's being distant. I totally understand being depressed and being distant in a time like this, but he can't push me away and then expect me to be there waiting all the time. In the back of my head I'm always worried that one day we'll just randomly break up and I'll be upset all over again. If I'm super supportive and get really wrapped up in his problems, what happens if I'm all alone again? I guess that's why I'm trying to back off, but I don't know if that's unfair for him, that I'm not there as much as he needs me to be right now? It's either being there for him, or watching out for myself. Who knows.
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| the grass is always greener on the other side. |
[30 Mar 2009|11:19pm] |
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i had such a great time at jmu. i miss jonathan soo fucking much. vt was okay, just a lot of drama. i used to like vt a lot better but it was actually tina that turned me off from it. she complains about it all the time and whenever i go down there she's a melodramatic psycho and no fun to be around. matt is definitely going to jmu next year and i'm really jealous... as happy as i am for him, i'm jealous he got into a school i wanted to go to. he's going to have so much fun and whenever he talks about it, as happy as i'll be that he found his place, i'll still just think about how mason isn't my place. of course now that the housing deposit is paid i'm regretting not actually applying anywhere. i was really looking into transfering to vcu earlier this semester and i suddenly changed my mind. i'm so indecisive. i frustrate myself. first i wanted to transfer to vt, then vcu, then jmu... i never make up my mind. deep down i do really enjoy mason. i've made such great friends here. i just really hate how everything is so exclusive and i can't bring my guy friends around to party hop and there are no parties in walking distance to "hop" from anyways... i'm just sick of being in the suburbs i guess.
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[24 Mar 2009|10:48pm] |
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ive been having stomach pains in the lower right side of my stomach for a little over a week now. i told my parents about it on sunday morning and both of them started freaking out saying it could be my appendix. they dragged me to the hospital and after spending 6 hours there i come to find out that i have an ovarian cyst. soo considering my period starts this weekend i can expect it to possibly rupture this weekend. i've been planning all semester to go to JMU and VT for tina's birthday so this is really interfering with plans.
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[11 Mar 2009|12:27pm] |
too many people to see in too little time. i've been spending every single day with nathaniel and richelle. other than that, i saw marissa twice, kemi three times, jen degaetano once. richelle and i want to have some people over for bp tonight but maggie and natalie are getting mad at me that i haven't seen them, and jonathan is home and wants me to hang out. ahh i don't know. all i do know is that hanging out with richelle causes a lot of money to be spent because we've gone out to eat and drink quite a bit.
i haven't done any homework yet, and that was my plan for spring break... shit.
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[08 Mar 2009|01:10pm] |
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haha i got absolutely plastered again last night. tonight i WILL NOT drink. after hardcore pregaming, kemi, richelle and i went to theta chi. it was a small birthday party and for the first 20 min it was awkward because i only knew, abs, the guy that invited me. but then we started dancing and the guys started paying a lot of attention to us as the AOII stood against the wall with their arms crossed, "who are THOSE girls." hahahah. it landed up being a lot of fun. once again, no hangover (yay!) and i didn't start any shit this time. yay!
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[07 Mar 2009|08:51pm] |
...my brother asked me about corey's status. so i check it out and he wrote something along the lines of, "gotta love crazy ex's texting you in the middle of the night" and then he commented on his own status and wrote that his crazy ex texted him accusing him of cheating and he didn't and blah blah... and then how hilarious, erika, the slut herself, commented on his status as well.
he can't ever be wrong... ever...
his best friends, his family members, my best friends, and our mutual friends all tell me what he did, and he can't even admit it... he's so fucked up in the head. i wish he didn't still affect me; it was two fucking years ago.
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[07 Mar 2009|11:03am] |
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wow, where do i even begin to talk about all the stuff i did last night. i was a SHIT SHOW. richelle and i went to the bar with my friend david, who is one of coreys' friends. we arrive and the girl that corey cheated on me with the entire time was there at the bar. i've never seen her in person before, and david didn't know that i knew who she was. david put on this charade of not knowing her. she came over and hugged him and i was already drunk at this point, (i was chugging down tall's) and i told him he can end the charade. he knew exactly what i was talking about and just gave me a sympathetic look. the girl is absolutely gorgeous, it made me feel like such shit. i chugged a few more 24oz, had shots, then drunkingly text corey. we start fighting via text. nathaniel shows up and i'm WASTED at this point. richelle has told the bartender she is 20 years old. we both stop drinking. i start venting to nathaniel (of all people?! what the hell is wrong with me?!) about how upset i am that erika is there. hahahaha... i'm a fucking retard... nathaniel takes richelle and i back to his place and when i walk in i go up to dan berkley and tell him that jackie and him need to get back together and get married. dan gets really upset and keeps repeating, "jackie's a great girl, a really great girl; but i need my closure." then nathaniel tells me that jackie broke dan's heart and he's been crying over it days on end, and she's moved on. i felt like such a bitch. oh, then i get even more ridiculous. i see that sarah nagle is there so i start screaming about it to people and i storm outside and sit in the street. maggie comes to find me and calms me down. sarah nagle is inside crying at this point because she finally understands that the only thing that nathaniel and i fight about is her. ugh i hate her, but i can't help but feel bad now. nathaniel is looking for me at this point but i'm in his back yard (yeah, it's 3am.) i finally go inside after like an hour of freezing out there and i sob in his bed for about another hour. wow. i was hyperventilating and just freaking out.
hahahahahaha. i'm a fucking mess. i should lay off the drinking for a while.
but you know what's awesome? i'm not hung over in the least bit. a little tired, but no headache, and no queasiness. another thing i need to give up is taking excedrine after i've drank. ooops.
oh i love college.
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[04 Mar 2009|05:45pm] |
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armin van buuren "never say never" |
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must get through class tomorrow and then it's spring break! thank god! i can't wait for my high school friends to be home and to party with them every night... i'm not scheduled to work so i'm using the week to go to the gym every morning, do homework every afternoon, and party every night. yay!
i just spent 35 minutes waiting for my cordon bleu to cook and then when i removed it from the oven i remembered there's ham in them. i gave up eating pork a week and a half ago every dissecting a fetal pig. cutest damn thing ever.
oh and i think i'm actually for real done with smoking cigarettes! what a long battle. i drunkingly had ONE drag on saturday and it made me feel like shit, my last one before that was a month prior which i smoked half of one and couldn't breathe, and my last entire cig was a few weeks before that. yay! go me!
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[21 Feb 2009|11:17am] |
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the mae show was aMAEzing (bahahha) becaussssse they played mainly old music! e for explosion is coming to PA on march 10 and i'm totally willing to drive the 4 hours so i'm begging nathaniel to go. he hates emo. wish me luck.
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[17 Feb 2009|11:36pm] |
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nothing is new. school is still kicking my ass. i'm trying really hard to try to get ahead so i can have a day of relaxation and a night to party but when i put in 99% i'm right on track, not ahead! i'm definitely doing better than ever though because i'm typically behind. i can't express how much i hate my english 201 class. i have one 5 page paper and two 3 page papers due next week and a quiz. this week i had one paper due and one quiz (and it's possible there's a pop quiz tomorrow too.) i'm putting a ton of energy into that class but still managing to work on my other ones too. i had my first psychopathology test today and i felt very confident. i know the material, i love the material. the test had 22 multiple choice and 2 essay questions that were 1-2 pages each. if one didn't know the information well they'd be SCREWED because there's no bullshitting when he asks you to list off the axials of diagnosis and then define, describe, give examples, state why they're important, and talk about the differences of I & II. i really feel like i got an "A" and i sure hope so. it's definitely my favorite class and i'm so glad i didn't drop it; i was definitely tempted to after meeting him and seeing how pompous, strict, and tough he is.
nathaniel and i are g-r-e-a-t. valentines day was amazing. we went to dinner with richelle and cuti and drank wine afterwards. he got me a white gold diamond heart necklace from kays. we haven't fought in so long and everything is just so great, i couldn't ask for anything more.
maggie and i got together and talked and it feels like a huge brick was lifted off my chest. we've been hanging out again and i've realized i really did miss the girl. as much as she drives me nuts, i love her to death.
i played sims for about 4 hours today because i was so frustrated with schoolwork. hahahahah. OOPS. i'm such a loser.
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[03 Feb 2009|09:29pm] |
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worst day i've had in a while. just thinking about the two exams, two papers, one quiz, and all the reading i have to do next week is already stressing me out, but on top of that i have a paper due tomorrow. i had a paper due monday for the same class. it's only 2 pages but whatever it's still something i have to do and it's a pain in the fucking ass that my professor assigns one paper per class. then i went to cvs to pick up my prescription of concerta, since i'm now trying that out to decide between it and vyvanse. the doctor gave me a free trial so i gave cvs my coupon and waited in line for a half hour (my prescription was ready.) they eventually told me they can't accept the coupon because its for 42 pills of 18mg and i have 30 pills of 27mg. okay, so it's a 54mg difference so they refused to use the coupon. cool, thanks for making me wait a half hour, assholes. the prescription was $45 and every penny counts to me right now because i'm so broke. i haven't been shopping, haven't even bought fucking groceries. all of my money is going to buying books and the 39923923 medications i'm on/trying out. i finally had my credit card paid off yesterday but today i was charged the monthly fee for tanning and the $45 from the meds. $13 in my checking account. wow i was so excited to pay that credit card off finally and yeah now it's only $70 deep but it's still something. then i went to work and it was busier than it's ever been. every single seat in the place was taken up plus people standing around waiting to find a place to sit. it was 2 for tuesday which means all drinks and seafood are $2 so of course people were literally (this was the most popular order) 3 orders of shrimp and 3 orders of clams at a time. when you have over 10 tables ordering drinks and a ton of seafood constantly there's no time to breath. the food kept piling up and the receipts were getting lost and i was bringing the wrong food to tables or just forgeting their orders all together. a couple tables had to remind me over 3 times. i'm normally fine with serving but my day was already bad and i was so overwhelmed. then steph, a bitch at work i can't stand told me i needed to prepare my oyster orders (we do it ourselves) faster because she didn't have time to do it for me (even though she was barback and the bartenders weren't nearly as busy as the servers.) so then it got even worse when i thought it was as bad as it could be. a table stacked their oyster trays on top of eachother and in between the metal trays they had a ceramic plate for the soup. on top of that had a ton of trash. i lifted it up as one of the girls reached over to put something else on the stack and it caused me to drop the entire thing. it fell to the ground after knocking one of the girls blue moons onto her purse. i bought her another blue moon and apologized profusely. they really didn't seem to care they laughed it off and said it wasn't a problem and were super understanding saying it was the busiest it's ever been. after that i went back to the cash register and i messed up the payment for one table since i wasn't thinking straight. they paid $22 cash and wanted the remaining $88 split onto 3 cards. then i started to panick. eyes watered, heart beat faster, i knew i was about to have a panic attack if i didn't breathe and take a moment away. justin, the other server, did the payment slips for me, ran a table of food and drinks for me and i calmed down for taking a moment off. my socks literally rolled down to my toes i was walking around the restaurant so fast. finally after that my night started to slow down and since my service was so awful nobody really tipped me 20%. i normally get 20% as my lowest tip of the night since i'm so good at flirting with the old dudes. no time for that tonight. awesome. landed up with $95 which is still great for only working 3-8 but it would have been 150-200 if it wasn't so busy and i wasn't so stressed out. i got home and steph, the bitch, texted me and said i didn't tip her out. when i cashed out the bartender didn't mention that and they all know i don't work tuesdays, i don't know how it works... i work thursdays and we don't tip out then. so i had to drive back to give her the $11 since she couldn't wait til thursday.
now i have to write the paper. this day just gets better and better.
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[02 Feb 2009|07:24pm] |
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i'm so ready to have an exciting rager weekend but i don't think it's coming anytime soon. only a few weeks in and i'm already swamped with so much work. i'm going to be soo burned out by the time april rolls around i don't even like to think about it. i went to brenna's lake house for a night this weekend and it was soo much fun staying in with her and drinking and playing poker with her dad. i need more nights like that but they only occur when i'm with my high school friends. pretty much all my friends at gmu have boyfriends/girlfriends so we all do our own thing. it sucks i don't even have time to blab away on here, too much homework to do.
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[26 Jan 2009|10:59pm] |
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only a week into the semester and i'm already a mile deep in homework. i was assigned to read 150 pages of my abnormal psychology book this weekend and i actually managed to do it all! with the other 4 classes i had a lot of reading to do as well. it doesn't seem that my classes will be hard this semester, just a lot of papers and a lot of reading.
one roommate, mayra, moved out the other day. rachel and i are hoping sarah can move in to take her place.
my car was fixed, it was $700 of damage so far, mainly with the spark plugs, and i still have to get new tires because my front ones are supposedly bald and need to get new brakes as well.
work has been shitty lately because business in january sucks at restaurants. i'm only given one shift a week and half the time the money is awful and the other half it's pretty decent - either way, it doesn't average out like it used to.
9am class tomorrow which blows, gotta go to bed.
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[21 Jan 2009|11:41am] |
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so today will be the first day of classes. i took my adhd medicine, vyvanse, for the first time two days ago (was sick yesterday) and took it again today. the doctor wants me to take it every day. i think i'll take it sunday-thursday. i really need to be consistent with it so i can start the semester off with high grades. i have english and child psychology today. i feel like i'm the only one that's not excited for the semester to start! i guess because i've been here all winter break so i've seen everybody i want to see. i still haven't done my math placement tests so that's stressing me out. i haven't even done the things i needed to do over winter break, such as get my oil changed and get my passport. my stomach is starting to hurt again... hopefully that isn't what got me sick yesterday :-/ i spent the entire day in nathaniel's bed while he was at the inauguration! i was such a bum...
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[13 Jan 2009|10:50am] |
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i'm excited for everyone to come back to fairfax for spring semester but i'm already dreading my western civ class. checked my email yesterday and we ALREADY have a homework assignment (on inauguration) that's due the first class! great.
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